Wednesday, 30 November 2011
Kerala to get a new water theme park soon!! Yes...the idiots told you first!
All thanks to Tamil Nadu’s selfless support for this ‘project’. Pity on all the keralites and others who are crying for new dam.... damn...so ‘anti-development’ kinds!!
Mullaperiyar is the oldest gravity dam built on 1896 and is still running even after its expiry date of 50 years... It is on the verge of an explosion! And that very explosion will help Kerala get its biggest, infact world’s biggest water theme park ever!! Isn’t that “WOW”? Why worry about lakhs of life, just think about the adventure... don’t give a DAMn about IIT research... but just one doubt- will we be alive to be happy about the park!!?? Ahh... never mind, at least Tamilians can definitely enjoy it!!
We idiots wonder how the dam survived till now.... but the answer is with Tamilians and of course, we found it out. It is RAJINIKANTH! Reports say he is holding the dam and it is too strong to break. Awww...the hero! we guess, Rajini will crave for some rest!!
Appreciate central government’s ignorance towards this issue... just keep your eyes closed and let the Keralites die! Nice na....... the only trouble is that the water park will smell of BLOOD... blood of more than 30 lakh innocent people!! But does that really matter? Huh TN, central govt?? Nay......How about naming it BLOOD theme park ???? What say???? :-P
Why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri DAM?? (okay okay...there is no relevance of this here, but we love the song!! ;-))
Sunday, 20 November 2011
2G..... 2G.... aren’t you all really sick hearing it all over the news all the time? Hmmm, by the way, we know what you are thinking, but no, we are not bored hearing about it!! Voila!! ;-)
Now that all of you are bored of 2g and most of you prefer reading KRK tweets rather than reading the newspaper headlines, we have come up with hot news. Heard from sources that some intelligent people are planning a new scam. As this is the age of 3g, they have decided to name it the 3g SCAM. Well this is a highly confidential news but we are ready to share the big secret with our readers that the master brains behind this scam are none other than THE CREATIVE IDIOTS.. That’s usJ. Now you know why we are not bored.. 2G is our inspiration, hearing it all the time is an encouragement. We have a full proof (read fool proof) plan for the same. No Swamy will be able to do anything about it. buhahaha..
Our 3g scam is going to be bigger than the 2g scam for sure!!
We are going to bring out a scandal which is 100 times bigger in cash than the previous one. Yes, even Lord SreePadmanabha Swamy wouldn’t come our way :O With 1/4th of the money, we are going to renovate Tihar, so as to ensure our comfortable stay in future (only if Swamy interrupts, you know risks should be avoided). Okay, basically we are going to do this all alone without involving any ministers, journalists, or any entrepreneurs ......just the two of us! But PC, the HM, the goggle man- Karunanidhi’s daughter, Raja (band baaja) etc, has already contacted us to request to join them too. But they just don’t include in our plan. And apart from PC no one else can actually stand the storm called SWAMY. We just might be into him. We will let you guys know soon.
As for bureaucrats, we definitely need someone like RK Chandolia. This guy was the private secretary of Raja during UPA-1 when the licenses were awarded and during UPA-2 he was given the rank of joint secretary but later became the Economic advisor due to Raja (truly a king who loves his praja)
We will behave like Maharajas...
We have decided not to involve people at the top of TRAI, because we strongly suspect the daily SMS limitation to 100 was TRAI’s revenge for accusing their ex-head Pradip Baijal. Our sources tell us that the judiciary may give him a clean chit. The reason behind this is nothing but the complaints lodged by millions of cell phone users across the country. See...see.... the power of democracy and moreover the SMS.
The main aim behind this 3g scam is to endorse our own channel. How can we forget what Kanimozhi did for her channel? She is really not that bad. She did everything for the Tamil audience who watch all their soaps and Rajnikanth-Vijaykanth movies they show. And it’s a pity that she has been put in the jail just for social service. So not fair.
We would be careful and won’t repeat Radia tapes. Rather we would use pigeons to convey our messages. And just like Bakhra oops Barkha Dutt (too many typos) who loves to stick her tongue out and hit her bashers with many arms just like Devi (ref: twitter), we hope to get least publicity in this case. We are planning to take a PhD in manipulation from her and have good relation with 10janpath. Also train in mass blocking and abusing her followers. Well SRN got blocked by her just when she mentioned radia tapes...arrey she didn’t understand that SRN was just trying to take some tips from her...aww poor girl. SSN too tried to repeat the same, but Deviji thought ‘twas SRN’s fake account and blocked her too. Sigh ;-( well she also said SRN has no upbringing!! Yeah we crave for the upbringing B.Dutt had.. calling a woman ‘tramp’, marrying two men, getting involved in scams.... alas!! Well she thinks she is really great coz her followers count is increasing day by day.... but some people say they are following just to get daily dose of her STUPIDITY.. don’t worry Barkha ji, we don’t think so.. there is something more in you than just stupidity (‘DEVIl’ism, maybe? Note- not to be read the way, it seems)
Even if we get caught, we wonder, who will write a 4 page note on our scam to the PMO and later say that they are not my personal opinion like Pranab!! And we will respond to it with a huge grin of satisfaction saying the MATTER IS CLOSED in pure PC style. But mind it rascala.... our matter is never going to open at all. But what we fear the most is the interruption of Italian Madam, her puppet and her clan. We can’t do anything, but give their share if they demand it. We are sooooo weak comparing them L while typing this, our legs were shaking, hmmmm. So guys pray for us, pleaseeeeeee.....
Better befriend us now as later on, we will be really busy... we are going to be “THE SCAMSTARS”
*Barkha laugh...sorry EVIL laugh*